A Bittersweet Wedding Ever!

Never reveal this feeling to anyone before. Wedding is supposed to be a happy moment. Same thing on kakang's wed party. Back to 02.10.10, It was a fancy garden party, everybody enjoyed themselves and stayed til end, at least that's what everyone says...

If i was zoomed-in, it wasn't a happy movie. I can call it bittersweet. All invitations came with their big smiles, and this lady came up to me and said, "Ibu and you must be very happy" i just smiled and deep inside i replied, you have no idea ma'am. I didn't know exactly what ibu felt but i could sense that it was the same way as i felt. Half part of us is broken.

That day i knew i had to let kakang go. That day i decided to go back to my shell.

Luckily, my very best friend was there. She helped me to get through the party. She knew how much i missed bapak. After the lady said that, i went to the toilet to wipe tears. I simply couldn't breathe.

But it was better than the day before in akad on 01.10.10, when i looked back from self-pics it was so obvious that i couldn't hide the feelings from my eyes.

After all, all i could say to myself, this is part of life cit... We all have to move on.

I am a very 'gengsian' sister, never showed kakang what i need to show him but he knows how much i adore him. He knows...

After bapak left us, the three of us are so connected even stronger, esp.ibu and i. I can tell what she feels from a single look.

I soon to be an auntie and i know things will be waaayy happier for ibu and me, Insha Allah :)