Effective Communication

My friend asked me a personal question and he didn't believe what I jez stated. Then he suggested blablabla-blablabla cit.. I replied yayaya-gatauah-iyaiya.. heuheu I don't know cos I always believe that there's always the rite time for evrythin in life, "what u don't hav u don't need it now, what u don't know u can feel it somehow" – U2. Sudah terbukti kok!
And in the afternoon I visited my auntie's house, fortunately I found an interesting-knowledgeable book! Understanding Interpersonal Communication (West&Turner). Secara doski dosen fikom hehe.. buku kuliah tp seru. Mengingat kita smua cupu bgt dlm relationships, tp itu skill, bs dipelajari dan dikembangkan. Bentuknya verbal dan nonverbal. Skill penting diasah agar komunikasi bs berjalan efektif dan efisien.

Dialog adik-kakak usia balita,
Lil bro: what does it feel like when u lose a tooth, zoe?
Big sis: hmmm.. it feels sort of weird.
Lil bro: yeah.
Big sis: not weird-weird, but sort of weirdish-weird.. if u know what I mean.
Lil bro: u're so good with words.
Big sis: well, it's something that comes with experience.

Hahaha... lucu bgtt. Polos dan sotoy! Communication is only if the other party acknowledges our existence. Intinya ada sender-message-receiver. Bakal pjg bgt kl hrs ngerangkum buku itu disini. Paling poin2 besarnya aja..
From birth, we are taught how to communicate interpersonally, most significantly by our family. As we grow older, we refine our skills as we interact with a wider and wider group of people.
A significant part of our interpersonal communication effectiveness is based upon our perceptions and on our self-concepts, everything we believe about ourselves.
Empathy is an important component of listening. By providing emphatic responses, we show that we value another person's thoughts and feelings. In the process we may even help alleviate that person's anxiety, which is a useful emotional support skill.
Nonjudgmental listening allows for good interpersonal relations. Accepting someone's feelings without judging them is a useful skill that supports strong relationships.
Healthy relationships play a crucial role in our lives, communities, and societies. The nature of our close relationships and our communication within them influence how we see the world and interact with others.
The social exchange theory assumes that we stay in relationships that provide us with more rewards than costs.
There are 3 stages of courtship:
Self-disclosure, when u tell everything about urself.
Interdependence, when u're happy to just be together doing nothing.
Conflict, where u deal with the tension and doubt about ur future as a couple.
Self-disclosure is a complex, well-researched communication process. It's a choice we make, we always have the option of not telling. We generally choose to disclose in the context of a close, trusting relationship because self-disclosure is scary and implies risk. Not everyone self-discloses in the same way or at the same rate.
Reasons to self-disclose (remember, no one can read ur mind!):
To initiate a relationship
To maintain existing relationship
To satisfy expectations for a close relationship
To escalate a relationship
Reasons not to self-disclose:
To avoid hurt and rejection
To avoid conflict and protect a relationship
To keep one's image intact and maintain individuality
To reduce or forget about stress

"Although it's not always easy to do during a conflict, practicing effective interpersonal skills, such as really listening to what another person has to say or sensitively addressing another person's emotion, can help us maintain good relationships over a lifetime."

[click d title, linked to empathy quotient quiz]